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lammi

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What is a definition of disgusting?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finding a pubic hair in a sauce bottle.

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Thats better than pulling it out of your teeth though! :no2:

 

Depends if you regret going there or not :jamie:

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Depends if you regret going there or not :jamie:

 

haha the "Parsley situation" is a whole nothing kettle of fish :no2:

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Ive found a couple in my travels, enjoy :wub:

 

At a high school in Montana a group of high schoolers played a prank on the school. They let three goats loose in the school. Before they let them go they painted numbers on the sides of the goats: 1,2, 4.

 

Local school administrators spent most of the day looking for 3.

 

 

Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde says, "Look at that dog with one eye!" The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, "Where?"

 

 

Some Irishmen in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. Sean walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."

The assistant asked, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"

Sean said, "Oi'll go check," and went back to the truck.

He returned and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."

"All right. How long do you need them?"

Sean paused for a minute and said, "Oi'd better go check." After a while, he returned to the office and said, "A long time, 'cos we're goin' to build a house."

 

 

 

"I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades." ---Demetri Martin

 

More Irish

A Mulsim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy ordered a whiskey. The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink. He replied in disgust, 'I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips'.

Paddy handed his drink back & said, 'Me too, Oi didn't know we had a choice'.

Edited by Karllos

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The racing-car driver picked up a girl after a race, went home with her and took her to bed. He fell asleep only to be awakened suddenly when she smacked him in the face.

 

"What's the matter?!? Didn't I satisfy you when we screwed?" he asked. "It was after you fell asleep that got you into trouble," said the angry woman. "In your sleep, you felt my tits and mumbled 'what perfect headlights'. Then you felt my thighs and murmured 'what a smooth finish'".

 

"What's wrong with that?" asked the driver. "Nothing, but then you felt my pu$$y and yelled, who the hell left the garage door open!?"

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Why's Hitler so bad at golf ?

 

 

 

 

Cause when he got caught in the first bunker he shot himself

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Truck driver sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops. "What are you doing?" he says. "I'm trying to commit a suicide," she says. "Well, before you jump how bout giving me a blowjob?" So, she does. After she's finished, the trucker says, "Wow! That's a wasted talent. Why are you committing suicide?"."My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl..."

 

 

:) :lol: :lol:

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I failed my biology exam today. The question was "name two things found in a cell".

Apparently Lebanese rapists and Aboriginals is not the correct answer...

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what do you call a lebanese man in the middle of the ocean screaming for help?

 

FARKIM!

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Roy, the poofta, goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. The doctor comes back and says "Roy, I'm not going to beat around the bush you have AIDS." Roy is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?" Doc says "Eat 1 curry sausage, 1 head of Cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno Peppers, 40 walnuts, 40 peanuts, a box of All Bran, and top it off with a litre of prune juice". Roy asks bewildered, "Will that cure me, Doc?" Doc says, "No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your ARSE is for!"

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An aboriginal man was crawling under hes car.

what are you doing hes friend asked?

trying to get the whine out of the diff.

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