Wood§tok Posted June 12, 2003 Report Posted June 12, 2003 Here is a transcript from the current Speed Magazine (issue 0:07). I found it absolutely hilarious. They are all real names given to actual production models in Japan. DAIHATSU Rugged Field Sports Resin Top (1997 model): What, did they give these away on Survivor Africa or something? D-Bag: Could stand for Douche-Bag or Dime-Bag, or something else far less appealing than a tea bag. Town Cube (an esky on wheels): A people mover and Rubik's puzzle all wrapped up in one. HONDA Acty Crawler (a six wheel truck with tank-like treads: It'll clean your swimming pool in three hours all by itself. Joy-Machine: Sex on wheels. Available in five-speed manual, four-speed auto and three-speed vibrate. ISUZU Big horn (1993 4WD): Either a tribute to jazz great Miles Davis or porn legend John Holmes. We're not sure. Mysterious Utility Wizard (Current short-wheelbase Rodeo 4WD): Gandalf's transport in the upcoming film Lord of the Circle Work. Giga 20 Light Dump: Standard specs include vanity mirrors, four cup holders and a toilet paper dispenser. MITUBISHI Pajero: What's weird about that? It translates directly to "mastabator" in Spanish. Canter Guts (current Canter truck): The toughest ride for the blue singlet set. Imagine the tradie TV ads for this one. Aero Queen (1990s tour coach): The bus of choise for those priscilla desert road trips - or Bronski Beat tours. Delica Space Gear Cruising Active (1990s 4WD van): The hippie Kombi of the '90s. Availale in tie-dye. Frequently seen in the car park at Gratefull Dead concerts. MUM 500 Shall We Join Us? (1993 micro car - and yes, the question is part of the name): Sounds like a dinning table on wheels with an optional dishwasher. Mini Active Urban Sandal: Also comes in Ugh boot and Thong spec. Liberto RVR Super Wild Gear: Redefines the term "dealer special". Usually seen parked next to tie-dyed Delica Space Gear Cruising Actives at Gratefull Dead concerts. MAZDA Carol (1962 KEI micro car): "On the first day of Cristmas my Mazda gave to me..." Autozam Carol (1989 model based on the Suzuki Alto): "Autozam the red-nosed reindeer..." Luce (1974 Japan-only RX-4): Pronounced "loose". Costs $100 for half and hour, or $150 for the full hour. Luce Regard (1978 Crown-style model): "What's that you're driving tonight buddy?" "My sisters Luce." "So, the rumours are true!" Bongo Brawny (current commercial van): It's named after a croc wrestler from the Northern Teritory, Bob Marley's old drummer or a new character on Bob the Builder - we're not exactly sure. LaPuta (current KEI-class micro car): The shit. And you can take that whichever way you like. NISSAN Cedric 300LV VIP (current luxury sedan): Comes with a sherry dispenser for those long trips to the opera. Gloria GranTurismo 300 Ultima-Z (current luxury sedan): The choice of hairdressers throughout Japan. Leopard J Ferie: The drummer from Leopard Ferie's only got one arm! Prairie Joy (curent people mover): Heart-warmingly bland van adored by Yanks named Billy Jo Jim Bob, Sue Ellen, etc. Big Thumb Harmonized Truck (current semitrailer): The new album from Silverchair. SUBARU Justy (current Swift GTi look-alike): Rusty, Busty and Dusty lost out after poor feedback during market research. Gravel Express (Japanese limited-edition WRX wagon): The hip new rally cocktail made from sake, vodka and soil. SUZUKI Alto Afternoon Tea (KEI-class micro car): Replaces the short-lived Alto Smoko. Van Van (not a van at all, but a 1970 125cc motorbike): What what? Go figure figure. Every Joy Pop Turbo: Named after an unreleased Spandau Ballet album. TOYOTA Synus: Sniff! Well, it sure beats Syphilis as a name. Estima Lucida G Luxury Joyful Canopy: Shorter than Mitsubishi Ralliart Lancer Evolution VI Tommi Makinen Limited Edition, yet much dumber. Quote
irokin Posted June 12, 2003 Report Posted June 12, 2003 ROFLMAO Pajero drivers are a bunch of wankers...too true I can't wait to see Lord of the circlework :P And I want me an Subaru Gravel Express :) Quote
Medicine_Man Posted June 13, 2003 Report Posted June 13, 2003 Someone had to be on drugs to think those names up.. Quote
Wood§tok Posted June 13, 2003 Author Report Posted June 13, 2003 probably driving around in a Liberto RVR Super Wild Gear... :P Quote
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