NickAE86 Posted November 10, 2003 Report Posted November 10, 2003 i got bored at work today...well, everyday actually & i usually spend most of it searching for useless inane crap....here is a sample of what helps me get through each day :KY: http://www3.telus.net/public/joeyton/drift...ttle%5b1%5d.swf for a bit of Akina drift action http://www.mohsye.com/nu5va/vantt.html Kinda like micro machines but not http://www.ebaumsworld.com/thesmurfs.shtml? funny site...prolly not to everyones taste but i cracked up...above link for Smurf Lost Episode...not work friendly Quote
irokin Posted November 10, 2003 Report Posted November 10, 2003 some fun ass shit there man.... gee you must have a crappy job!! Quote
NickAE86 Posted November 10, 2003 Author Report Posted November 10, 2003 lol....theres plenty of it I work in a call centre so you can imagine how fun it is sitting around for 8 hours a day gotta keep myself alive somehow |blink| Quote
Medicine_Man Posted November 11, 2003 Report Posted November 11, 2003 that could be a recipie for disaster :KY: Quote
avalonea Posted November 12, 2003 Report Posted November 12, 2003 man i was winning just and a bluddy student walked in and messed up my mojo `josh Quote
irokin Posted November 12, 2003 Report Posted November 12, 2003 esp drift mojo!! bit like those sideburns that got taken off..then someone crashed...don't f@$k with the karma Quote
NickAE86 Posted November 14, 2003 Author Report Posted November 14, 2003 systems have crashed again at work leaving me more bored than usual...as a result you guys can be my ranting outlet :KY: These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm these exchanges were actually taking place. Q: Are you sexually active? A: No, I just lie there.. __________________________________ Q: What is your date of birth? A: July 15th. Q: What year? A: Every year. ______________________________________ Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ______________________________________ Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten? _____________________________________ Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. _____________________________________ Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan. ______________________________________ Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult? A: We both do. Q: Voodoo? A: We do. Q: You do? A: Yes, voodoo. ______________________________________ Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? A: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ___________________________________ Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? _____________________________________ Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? ______________________________________ Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time? ______________________________________ Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls? ______________________________________ Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated? ______________________________________ Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female? ______________________________________ Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.. ______________________________________ Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral. ______________________________________ Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at! the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy. _____________________________________ Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere. Quote
NickAE86 Posted November 14, 2003 Author Report Posted November 14, 2003 here's some more mildly amusing crap :KY: How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. -------------------------------------------------- -------------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. -------------------------------------------------- ------------- Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. -------------------------------------------------- -------------- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..." -------------------------------------------------- -------------- How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. -------------------------------------------------- -------------- Why do men break wind more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. -------------------------------------------------- -------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. -------------------------------------------------- -------------- What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told. -------------------------------------------------- -------------- I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. -------------------------------------------------- -------------- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. -------------------------------------------------- -------------- Why do men die before their wives? They want to. -------------------------------------------------- -------------- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. -------------------------------------------------- -------------- In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. Quote
Medicine_Man Posted November 19, 2003 Report Posted November 19, 2003 i normally kill time at Overclockers Australia bash.org or any of the car forums i've signed up too.. Quote
irokin Posted November 19, 2003 Report Posted November 19, 2003 BASH.org/cx is allways a good laugh and a nice timewaster Quote
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