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Cats And Dogs....

Featured Replies

As I possess both, I find this highly acturate.....

 

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

 

Day number 180

8:00 AM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 AM - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

9:40 AM - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 AM - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

11:30 AM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

12:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

5:30 PM - OH BOY! MUM! MY FAVORITE!

 

Day number 181

8:00 AM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 AM - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

9:40 AM - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 AM - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

11:30 AM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

12:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

5:30 PM - OH BOY! MUM! MY FAVORITE!

 

Day number 182

8:00 AM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 AM - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

9:40 AM - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 AM - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

11:30 AM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

12:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

1:30 PM - ooooooo. bath. bummer.

4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

5:30 PM - OH BOY! MUM! MY FAVORITE!

 

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

 

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling

objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat

dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape,

and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of

furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

 

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their

feet while they were walking almost succeeded. (Must try this at the

top of the stairs.) In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile

oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite

chair. (Must try this on their bed.)

 

DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep

depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

 

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in

attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to

strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about

what a good little cat I was. Hmmm. Not working according to plan...

 

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good

reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it

included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds

could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb

still stuck between my teeth.

 

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was

placed in solitary throughout the event. More importantly I overheard

that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn

what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

 

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe

snitches. The Dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to

return. He is obviously a half-with. The Bird on the other hand has got

to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something

akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he

reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the hanging

metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter

of time.

HHAHAHAHAH :P thats good

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