Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off...

A mind is like a parachute, It works best when its open.

bitch bitch bitch :D

A mind is like a parachute, It works best when its open.

 

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

 

When you have no car, you don't get invited anywhere and end up having to beg for a spot as a drunken passenger

 

I have 2 cars and I don't get invited anywhere either. In fact, I have 3 phone numbers and I don't get any calls either. And I'm the sort of person who would have to pay for a date, so quit yeah bitchin...

one of my favorites

"you can't fall off the floor"

if your lying on the ground, and don't need to hold on, your probably sober :D