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A mind is like a parachute, It works best when its open.

 

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

 

When you have no car, you don't get invited anywhere and end up having to beg for a spot as a drunken passenger

 

I have 2 cars and I don't get invited anywhere either. In fact, I have 3 phone numbers and I don't get any calls either. And I'm the sort of person who would have to pay for a date, so quit yeah bitchin...

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