Corolla Test Pilot

Tricky tricky. And don't worry Nitephyre, you can always pick up a bit of cash on the side doing drive-bys.

Twenty cent pieces? You don't know the extent of it... The other day, I decided to be a good boy, and show up a bit early. Well I learned my friggin lesson, didn't I... First delivery, two cromulent little twelve year old douche-bags that bogan mummy had left home alone while she went to the pub paid me $24 in FIVE CENT PIECES!!!!!!!!!!11111111111!! (sorry, just had a Valandor moment) Nitephyre, how the hell does any amount of deliveries manage to keep the Yakuza gunship fuelled? It's a V12, isn't it? And the whole biz with the non-functional demister is very displeasant. As an aside, has anyone else with a KE30 noticed that on chilly morns, when car is covered in condensation wetness, droplets of ice water run down the chrome gutters and get blown straight onto your face? Cool fun.

Forgot to mention, the sign is the worst part of the job. Massive magnets to destroy my poor 30yo paint. And of course the fact it is a cop magnet. And of course the fact that people know where you work. Last night some schlampe rang the store and complained that a driver in a yellow car was speeding in her street. "I have children you know!!!" screams the ranting bogan. When I distincly remember NOT speeding in her shitty little cul de sac. I was in second the whole time! Wringing the effing neck out of second, admittedly, but it only goes to 60km/h (i'm all afeared of valve bounce).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:CLR_Flip.jpg except when the cars can fly...

The rolla is finally being made to work for the dominatrix style "thrash me harder" love that I give it every day. I am a Dominos boy. So yeah, if you ever see a yellow ke30 with a dominos sign being whipped around depression bay, that'll be me. Just hope my baby doesn't end up stinking like festy pizza. Any other delivery rollas amongst our ranks?

My first time piloting a metal box at 100mph...sneaking out on my L's at midnight. Oh and by the way, sorry to the deluded guy who thinks his 4speed ever did 185km/h, but rolla speedos tend to get some pretty grand ideas over 110km/h, my ke70 used to tell me that we were travelling somewhere in the region of 200km/h, however my friend kindly agreed to run his 250 Bandit alongside me while i maxed her out, 165km/h was as good as it got. How i long for a 5 speed...

Wanted first car to be cheap on fuel, light weight and rwd. Corolla is all that and more. Bought a red KE70 for $1300 from a car yard, however, wrote it off on my L's, lost my authoritah to drive for 6 months, as well as being stoney broke. However, the mighty rolla came to my rescue yet again. After once saving my life from a marauding eucalypt, the destroyed car then earned me $150 as a wreck. Corolla gods smiled again when some stoners decided to sell me their overrated KE30 for $400!!! And it wasn't even stolen!!! Stupid bastards. I love my rolla.

Hey, schmick car. Pretty much exactly what I wish mine was, except I'd keep the blacked out steelies. What box have you got backing up that 20v? Just a stocker rolla one, or one from a sprinter?

Yeah, you SOB's, you get Tequila and Corona, We end up with maayyypull suurrrp! WTF?!

I reckon a KE70 would be the better bet: leafies just don't cut it in the carpark of death

But yeah, enough of the Cletus routine. In all honesty, aren't those miller cycle blowers really technomological? I remember them being mentioned in some mid 90's Wheels mag I've got, but not in much detail. Someone give me a link, I'm too lazy to find my own. Heh. That silver one with the Alfa rims is sexomatic, how the 166 would have looked if it hadn't hit every branch on its way down... And that golden one has FD RX-7 Type-R stylz, one of the sexiest cars on the planet, IMHO.

We're not canadians, YOU'RE bloody Mexicans. We're wise. We know how freaky shit gets when you f@$k with clocks, man...

Buy one in white and slap a Kelvinator badge on it. Hehe. One plus though, with all them big slab panels, a chop and channel would be a piece of cake. That'd be one pimped out dishwasher.

Aren't those supercharged engines highly technomological? My mate Gaz told me once that they don't even have pushrods! How does a motor work without pushrods??!!

Thats pretty friggin' brutal. I've only ever seen parts that molested come out of detonated drag cars. Nice work.

I went to the motorkhana, had a great time. Holden Sporting Car Club is tops, I'm now a member. Didn't compete though, I had no idea of what I might have been getting myself into, so never purchased the CTP extension. However, next event, I'm there. Oh, handy piece of advice, children, next time you buy rego, switch to Suncorp. They don't charge anything for the CTP extension, unlike the pirates at QBE who charge $10 per day. I had the power of the mighty Datto 1600 demonstrated amply, they were easily the quickest road cars there. Somebody trailered in a sad old ke55 and caned shite out of it. It was pretty poor, gave me a fairly good impression of how mine will behave *witnesses horrific body roll, painful axle tramp, severely beaten clutch, tyres and engine*. But meh. These are the sacrifices we lay at the altar of the hoon gods. Some of those specials were nuts. Picture a Mini engine with tyres, with a tube frame outrigger holding a seat and two more tyres. Sick mate, sick.

Hey everyone, lookin for quick replies. Tomorrow there's a motorkhana at Willowbank, and I wanna know if any of you lot are gonna be there. A Holden car club, whose name I have forgotten, is holding it, but all species of car are welcome. Aaanyway...I am very poor. My beloved Corolla is my only, and very neccessary, form of transport. It is a bone stock KE30. No engine mods, no suspension mods. It is in very good nick, however. Being 17, I fear I may not be the most ultra talented driver in the world. My question is, am I going to look like a total fool if I choose to compete, and will it result in me rolling my car, thus destroying my life?

I'll swap my car for yours. Pleeeeease!!!

Hey! Don't knock Inishiar D! It makes me laugh. Aside from that though, amen brothers, that tak tax is bullshit. Someone mentioned $3K for a stock AE86??? Try $7K and up!!! can't these people realise that if they bought an MX-5 they'd have a faster car that chicks would actually want to ride in? The wannabes should leave the 'rollas for the faithful, aka us. Hehe...I wonder if they get all confused and cry when they buy theirs and realise that its not revving to 11000 like it does in the cartoon?

Yeah, piss it off for a hachi. Your girlfriend will love you for it. Heh.

Yeah, Lada's rock!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!!1 Peter Brock never endorsed a Corolla, did he????? Hmmm? *Ewww, russian steel...*

Let me just join the river of hatred for people that would do that to someone else's car. They deserve to suffer. Why oh why did Toyota make our beloved rollas so easy to steal?

Hey every one, welcome me back. Send me beer or something. Sorry to hear bout all that, mlaser. Wrecking your car can be pretty destroying, but when it was some other bastards fault, thats disastrous. Hunt them down and sue their ass off.

Oh yeah, one more reason to like the Alfasud: Jeremy Clarkson likes them. Heheh...haaahaaahaaaaah. Gotta love them arrogant, ignorant pommy bastards. One strange thing about it though, the vendor claims its engine capacity is 1650cc, however all information I can find suggests no such engine size exists for them. Hmmm.... I reckon I'll give it a miss though, uni should do a good job of engulfing my spare cash soon enough.

Or if you're gonna go so far as to open the bonnet, you could just look at the bloody chassis number!