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Would You Like A Fully Paid Holiday In Cairns?


7shades

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Ok, so this may seem a bit odd, but I'm going to put it out there and see what sort of response I get.

 

To keep myself moderately fit, and pay enough tax for Mr. Howard and his shiny-arsed cronies to leave me alone, I do deliveries every morning for a bakery. Its also nice to have some sort of regular paycheck coming in. (As my other sources of income are anything BUT regular)

 

Now, as many of you may be aware, I'm leaving the country for a wee while in march. A month to be exact. This is proving itself to be of some concern to the owners of aforementioned bakery as they're just a little mum-and-dad operation (albiet a busy one) and I'm finding it difficult to organise a replacement driver while I'm gone.

 

So... I'm going to offer it to the members of this esteemed forum.

 

So heres the deal....

 

Its a very easy job. You rock up, put stuff in van, drop stuff off. repeat 6 or so times, go home. This happens 6 days a week. The only real catch is you start at 4am... but the upshot is you're usually finished by 10am so you have the whole day to do whatever the hell you like.

 

The "package" includes:

 

The job for a month

A place to crash at my place at the beach

My KE70 to drive around

and the delivery van has a big f@$koff stereo in it.

 

The numbers:

 

The job pays anywhere between 15-18 bucks and hour (depending on your age) and you'll do at least 30hours a week.

I'm gunna charge you 80 per week to live at my place. This of course includes all utilities, and my GF might feed you occasionally. You also get to experience living with Cassie, my GF's best friend who also lives with us. She's 18,and a hottie... but slightly insane. Pictures available on request.

 

(Edit: after numerous ACTUAL requests, I feel obligated to inform those less intellectually endowed that this statement is merely a witty quip, and does not in fact mean pictures of said strumpet are available for viewing by the general public. Instead I will suggest you take a quick stroll to your letterbox, whereapon you may be fortunate enough to find an underwear catalogue to peruse whilst you frantically hump your couch. )

 

Also, you crash the 'rolla, you either gimmie cash to fix it or cough up the writeoff value of 1500. Its insured, but only for the damage to other people and property, not comprehensive.

If you flog it, I'll know. My rolla has feelings and he tells me when people treat him badly. If this occurs, I'll smash your face through the windsreen and make you pay for a new one. :)

 

Nah I'm not really that nasty but I love my rolla... so be nice.

 

The conditions:

 

You have to get yourself here, and back. Cairns is serviced with astonishing frequency by all the airlines.... most of the time really cheap too. Flights from brissy for example are usually 130 bucks.

You need to get here a couple of days early so I can show you the ropes. Not terribly complicated, riding shotgun for a couple of shifts will give you all the experience you need. Cairns isn't a very big place so you shouldn't get lost, but I'll give you a map anyway.

and um... you need a licence. duh.

 

Ok... the real clincher.

 

Essentially, you'll be taking over a portion of my life for a month. You'll be doing my job, living in my house, and driving my car. As I'm sure you will understand, this will require a lot of trust and faith on my part, and I will require some mutual respect in return.

 

So while the offer is, in essence, open to anyone who reads this, I'm gunna be picky. I'm going to ask other people about you, look through your posts, and generally try and get a picture of who you are, and see if I can trust you. Of course I'll talk to you over the phone as well.

 

Most of all, I need someone who isn't going to dick me or the very nice bakery people around.... reliabilty is the key word here.

 

so yeah.... I reckon this is a prime opportunity for one of you guys who aren't doing much else to come and experience the tropical lifestyle for a bit.... The job is easy, you're living on the beach, got some wheels, and you get paid for it. My Gf and her friend are really easy to get along with and are quite good company so you don't have to worry about getting the cold shoulder or anything. Sounds pretty cool huh.

 

Expressions of interest via PM, and we'll talk more after that.

 

Cheers guys.

 

Jarad

Edited by 7shades
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**Evil Thoughts**

 

So basicly this person will be filling in for you. Driving your car, working your job, paying your rent and ... filling in with your gf??

 

**/Evil Thoughts**

 

Sorry, had to say it. I'd be up there myself, not for the above mentioned comment, but yeah, i need a holiday. I doubt i'd be able to get away from work.

 

Good luck finding some one tho and where are you going on holiday??

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