SoulSearcher

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that, they don't sell rectum deodorant and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more. 'I'm sorry,' says the pharmacist, 'We don't have any.' 'But, I always buy it here,' says the blonde . 'Do you have the container that it came in?' asks the pharmacist. 'Yes,' said the blonde , 'I'll go home and get it.' She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, 'This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant.' Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container ... (Are you ready for this one!?) 'TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM.

This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little girls: Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: " Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so." That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself: I don't f&ckin think so

A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer: Don't have one? Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Older Woman: I can't do that. Officer: Why not? Older Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Older woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am? Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned. Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

I finally had my speakers installed yesterday - they're super cool! and here is a picture of the tweeters...I was so nervous my trim would suffer, but voila! I'm pretty happy with them :( As a side benefit, my window isn't making noise any more :) Lesley :)

you know you can go to the manufacturers website and download the install program don't you?

guess what.... the new 2009 Focus has been unveiled... http://carsguide.news.com.au/site/motoring.../?from=CG_email I still like the outside (it's pretty!) ...but the inside (of the 2007/08 version) doesn't do it for me Lesley

I saw a Falcon XR6 here in SA with the number plates: FATCH 6 and it was LOW :)

efffin blues, they SUCK! what was going on? don't they know how to PASS a friggin ball???? ps: my dog was very confused as I was bellowing at the TV LOL well done QLD, you earned it, and solidified your lead.... the under 12 girls from Gumeracha could have played better than the blues..... Lesley :lolcry:

oh dude, that's heart breaking I hope that they can get the people who did this...where was it found? :dance: thank goodness you had insurance and you can recover financially from your loss.... on the up-side, are you going to get another one? Lesley :lolcry:

LOL *arrrgh kenyans*

did a quick peruse, I like it :D Thank you for posting it

will keep an eye out, I"ll be doing a heap of driving this weekend... good luck, I hope you get it back soon (and in one piece).

OMG it's the SAME!!!!! (I'm slack that I didn't google it....blonde moment...nope, just slack - thanks Mystik for doing it for me :dance: ). .... except I don't have the dash mat, and I have a plaque thing on above the toy gumby thing and I think my steering wheel is different could be the light...

WOW, they're so tidy :dance: kudo's on a job well done :lmao: ps: what's the 101 like to drive? Lesley :hmm:

raven and mystic: my interior is charcoal, so finding replacements at wreckers is almost impossible, but I'm investigating the levin interiors cause I think they're the same colour, and replacements from Toyota cost a fortune..... Valandor: Cause I go shopping alot? (which I don't!!) and I like the carputer idea, but one in the MR2 will be enough (someone's excited about it!) and yes, it should sound awesomerer soon, I'll be saying "huh?" alot :dance: LMAO!!! Lesley :lmao:

ok, after clearing my schedule for tomorrow night, I discovered that the match isn't until NEXT wednesday following is the times the matches are actually played in real time: Wed 21 May 2008 8:00pm ANZ Stadium Wed 11 Jun 2008 8:00pm Suncorp Stadium In Adelaide on TV Wednesday 11 June 08: State of Origin (120)7:30pm - 9:30pm Wed 2 Jul 2008 8:00pm ANZ Stadium

I'm doing a search for these at the moment, has anyone had any success? Lesley :dance:

last night while I was waiting for my husband to come out of maccas (at 11.30 pm at a usually busy intersection - cross road) I noticed a whole lot of nicely done up cars, various types, and a stock (-sportivo) rolla like mine drove past, and I thought to myself "man, I feel sorry for people who use their cars to get from a to b and don't have the passion for their cars...." I looked over and there were these two women talking over the roof of their cars (and her hand bag had this HUGE buckle that I'm sure would be scratching the paint and I thought to myself..."what would I buy if I didn't get car stuff"? I was stumped! I love my car :bash: Lesley :yes:

hello, well after spending the last few days sick and off work and in bed, I had heaps of time to think about things in general...in one of my more lucid moments, I realised that my new front speakers (which were going to be installed on Friday but weren't because I was almost dead - ok that's over-exaggerating - I was feeling super crappy from the flu) won't work....the tweeters are in the spider and the spider has to be affixed, and because I want them behind the trim, they won't actually fit....so I'm going with the JBL's, my audio guy is SUPER happy, I'm a bit sad, cause they're so cool :yes: Luckily I can return them and get a refund to go towards the JBL's... BUT I'm a bit worried about cutting holes in the 1/4 piece behind the mirrors to put in the itty bitty tweeters (I've had it done in the MR2 and I was never really happy with the end result). AND I'm looking at a slim line JBL sub...not sure about that though... Oh, ALSO I'm getting the exhaust sorted and the CAI sorted this Friday (YAY)! Lesley :bash:

ok, so the next match is this wednesday night, right?! oh, GO THE BLUES!!!

OH ... MY.... GOSH.... http://bridgemail.bigbridge.com.au/em/mail...3&k=9f096c9 why would ANYONE want these?!?!?!?

I can't come :lolcry: birthday party to go to Lesley

did you see the "Caution Salmonella Disclaimer optional" on the bottles?

I got this today from my Dad, it sounds encouraging, and I remember reading something about this a couple of months ago, do you think it would really work? I haven't used BP or Shell for some time, preferring the smaller operaters (Liberty and our local private service station (which has premium at the cost of the standard everywhere else) but I thought I'd pass it on anyway. Lesley :lolcry: LET'S JUST DO IT ! ! ! THIS IS NOT THE 'DON'T BUY' PETROL FOR ONE DAY, BUT IT WILL SHOW YOU HOW WE CAN GET PETROL BACK DOWN TO $1.00 PER Litre....hopefully This was originally sent by a retired Coca Cola executive. If you are tired of the gas prices going up AND they will continue to rise this winter, take time to read this PLEASE. Phillip Hollsworth offered this good idea. This makes MUCH MORE SENSE than the 'don't buy petrol on a certain day' campaign that was going around last April or May! It's worth your consideration. Join the resistance!!!! We are going to hit $ 2.00 a litre SOON in NZ and it might go higher!! Want petrol prices to come down? We need to take some intelligent, united action. The oil companies just laughed at that because they knew we wouldn't continue to 'hurt' ourselves by refusing to buy petrol. It was more of an inconvenience to us than it was a problem for them. BUT, whoever thought of this idea, has come up with a plan that can Really work. Please read on and join with us! By now you're probably thinking petrol priced at about $1.50 is cheap. It is currently $1.93 for regular unleaded in NZ !!!! Now that the oil companies and the OPEC nations have conditioned us to think that the cost of a liter of gas is CHEAP at $1.50, we need to take aggressive action to teach them that BUYERS control the marketplace...not sellers. With the price of gasoline going up more each day, we consumers need to take action. The only way we are going to see the price of petrol come down is if we hit someone in the pocketbook by not purchasing their petrol! And, we can do that WITHOUT hurting ourselves. How? Since we all rely on our cars, we can't just stop buying petrol. But we CAN have an impact on petrol prices if we all act together to force a price war. Here's the idea: For the rest of this year, DON'T purchase ANY petrol from BP NZ or Australia, the biggest price up driver company. If they are not selling any petrol, they will be inclined to reduce their prices. If they reduce their prices, the other companies will have to follow suit. But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of BP NZ and Aust. petrol buyers. It's really simple to do! Now, don't wimp out on me at this point...keep reading and I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people!! I am sending this note to 20 people. If each of us s end it to at least ten more (20 x 10 = 200) .. And those 200 send it to at least ten more (200 x 10 = 2000 .... and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth group of people, we will have reached over TWO MILLION consumers. If those three million get excited and pass this on to ten friends each, then 20 million people will have been contacted! If it goes one level further, you guessed it..... TWO HUNDRED MILLION PEOPLE!!! Again, all you have to do is send this to 10 people. That's all! I'll bet you didn't think you and I had that much potential, did you! Acting together we can make a difference. If this makes sense to you, please pass this message on THEY LOWER THEIR PRICES TO BELOW THE $1.50 RANGE AND KEEP THEM DOWN. THIS CAN REALLY WORK. Simple – send the message along to other and do not buy petrol from BP NZ. or BP Aust.

yes, but I LOVE driving the rolla.... hence my compromise :( - temporary boot install