Not really a family thing, but here's my story.

 

After I had explained about 3 weeks earlier to my ex gf the need to check her car's oil and coolant lvels regularly, she asked me if I could have a look at her car, as it was making a funny noise.

 

Checked the oil level, and it wasn't even registering on the dipstick!! Apparently she had driven it around like that since she got it :S

 

Needless to say I had to fill it with 40W70, as she didn't want to pay to have the motor rebuilt...

Back in school one of the rota road safety things the guy leading it asked if a driver is speeding (whilst you are a passenger) and you feel uncomfortable what should you do?

 

Correct Answer: Say you're going to throw up in his car.

 

Answer given buy fat dumbass girl: Pull the handbrake cause that will cut the engine and bring it to a stop.

 

Much lulz were had

Ok, this is really embarassing. My friend/neighbour and i just went to check the valve clearance adjustment (really bad knocking). On his 5K haha. We both know our engines really well, and we both know that the 5K has hydraulic lifters, but didnt stop to think about it. Bunch of wankers haha! But we did find that another wanker has just cut a bolt off to use as a cam tower bolt/stud. So it looks like 1 or more of his lifters is shagged.

Ok, this is really embarassing. My friend/neighbour and i just went to check the valve clearance adjustment (really bad knocking). On his 5K haha. We both know our engines really well, and we both know that the 5K has hydraulic lifters, but didnt stop to think about it. Bunch of wankers haha! But we did find that another wanker has just cut a bolt off to use as a cam tower bolt/stud. So it looks like 1 or more of his lifters is shagged.

 

 

LOL, he is most definitely NOT talking about me..!

 

no sireee bob >.>

:lol: Its been a long long day.. :drinks:

...few kms down the road the auto box starts making funny noises....... my father in law calls him mechanically retarded, he had drained the tranny fluid :)

 

I'm intrigued... How did he even manage to drive it anywhere without auto trans fluid?

 

My mate and I were working on a 1600 on the hoist. Forgetting it had an LSD, I was rotating the right rear drum checking adjustment and it other wheel was rotating, worked the other drum off and conked him on the noggin.

i will admit it was stupid, was a great test of strength though.

 

when i bought my wagon back in early 06' the old 3K leaked like a sieve, almost every gasket leaked, being a mechanic, i dreaded working on my own cars, so i left it.

i used to use the oil light as a reminder to top it up, that engine lasted over 4 years and never skipped a beat, was replaced with a fresh, rebuilt, tight 5K :)

 

lessons: I'm a lazy C&%T, 3K's are awesome.

 

another story.

 

an old friend (female) was once told by her dad to always check her tyre pressures when filling up with fuel as a good habit.

after she forked out for new tyres a few times in one year, i questioned the reason?

after some investigation into her HABIT, turns out she was putting air in her tyres EVERY time she filled her car with petrol!!!!

 

solution: new tyres, told her to stop checking pressures.

"oh wow, my car drives so much better now, it dosent bounce"

 

LOL.

 

"oh wow, my car drives so much better now, it dosent bounce"

 

LOL.

 

hahahahahahahahahahahahahah

well this is me about 4 hours ago i think i have taken the cake for number 1 retard

 

 

ok so i have twin side drafts and I'm also experencing some compresion issues so i need to take the head of. so this afteer noon i was f@$king around doing various compression test and what not i decided before i do anything i would check my carbs jets see if there all the same as one is running leaner the well its f@$king not firing with a combination of f@$k all pressure in the cylinders

so i thought i might ditch the inline fuel setup and run a t peice in the middle of them so they would have equal ammounts of fuel did that all god ready to fire her up see if i have achieved anything.........

 

also had spilt a little fuel on the rocker cover and around the carbs just a little .............................

 

 

still have the dome filters of

 

 

ok here we go time to fire the old girl up crank here of no luck first shot try again pump the pedal a little yep that should do her

 

 

*turns key* RIGADARIGIDARIGIDARIGDIA.... put put putt BANG back fires out the intake then i see flames :blinks: oh yeah just a little to much fuel maybe

 

flames don't go away .........................:blinks: flames getting bigger

 

f@$k f@$k jump out go to the engine bay try blow it out. nah not gonna happen by this time theres flames as high as the bonnet

 

f@$k f@$k f@$kf@$k run to hose turn it on put it .:o

 

and I'm thinking on no o no its f@$ked no turns out its fine no damage at all bonnet a little singed bout it and I'm think how the f@$k did that happen

 

turns out the genious here forgot to tight the hose clamp up on one of the fuel lines oh boy i realy am doing well this week :(

I asked someone yesterday why he didnt use a imported Te27 for parts on his ke10 :happy:

I don't know my older ke's to well :laff:

Putting the thickest, most nasty oil in my old ae92 before selling it to stop it sounding like it was ready for a rebuild (overdue with the way I drove it.. Bounce off rev limiter on every takeoff)

 

Drove a Falcon with no resonator or mufflers whatsoever. Straight pipe from extractors to tailpipe. Noise was incredible, sounded like it was sick.

 

Worst thing was doing a burnout on already f@$ked rubber, watching it de-laminate down the street..

got a ksev for $100, needed a fuel pump to get it started. so i put one without a fuel return, started it drove it home. then filled it with fuel. go to start it next week, started and ran for 5 secs then died. smoke pouring out the bonnet. quickly opened the bonnet. it sprayed fuel all over the dissy so the dissy and fuel line were on fire! some huffing and puffing and it was out. mega LOLS

My mate has a ke10 sprinter in his dam, sigh....

well this is me about 4 hours ago i think i have taken the cake for number 1 retard

 

 

ok so i have twin side drafts and I'm also experencing some compresion issues so i need to take the head of. so this afteer noon i was f@$king around doing various compression test and what not i decided before i do anything i would check my carbs jets see if there all the same as one is running leaner the well its f@$king not firing with a combination of f@$k all pressure in the cylinders

so i thought i might ditch the inline fuel setup and run a t peice in the middle of them so they would have equal ammounts of fuel did that all god ready to fire her up see if i have achieved anything.........

 

also had spilt a little fuel on the rocker cover and around the carbs just a little .............................

 

 

still have the dome filters of

 

 

ok here we go time to fire the old girl up crank here of no luck first shot try again pump the pedal a little yep that should do her

 

 

*turns key* RIGADARIGIDARIGIDARIGDIA.... put put putt BANG back fires out the intake then i see flames :blinks: oh yeah just a little to much fuel maybe

 

flames don't go away .........................:blinks: flames getting bigger

 

f@$k f@$k jump out go to the engine bay try blow it out. nah not gonna happen by this time theres flames as high as the bonnet

 

f@$k f@$k f@$kf@$k run to hose turn it on put it .:o

 

and I'm thinking on no o no its f@$ked no turns out its fine no damage at all bonnet a little singed bout it and I'm think how the f@$k did that happen

 

turns out the genious here forgot to tight the hose clamp up on one of the fuel lines oh boy i realy am doing well this week :(

 

 

GRAMMAR ISN'T INCLUDED IN RAGE POST. :cool: